Sitting Still

This piece of art is from crispin korschen. I bought it online at Barking Mad it's a picture block about 10cm square. At first you think, "what is this? How absurd" but it makes sense when you need it to. 

In the pre-flap days, when I was walking round with two holes in my neck thinking I was invincible, I was prone to infections. I had 3 infections over the course of about 5 years. All required hospitalization and IV antibiotics. On the back of this block is a date, 2012, and a message, "lesson learnt". That was the last infection I had and it was the worst. I spent 5 days in hospital and didn't sleep or swallow the whole time. Well it felt like I hadn't slept but I must have at some point. It was after this episode that I realized I needed to listen to my lovely J, as well as most of my dear friends and family, and make a plan to pull back at work. J was desperate for me to finish work altogether but knew it had to be my decision. My career, my PhD, my friends - I'd allowed my work to define who I was. So it was impossible to let go and admit that my body couldn't keep up with my brain. That head of mine just doesn't switch off, even at 3 in the morning! But I need my head to help my body heal. 

Anyhow, if I was to keep sticking the band aid (or more expensive equivalent silicone dressing) over the holes and not face the surgery then the least I could do would be to drop down my hours at work so I could rest up midweek. With the support of my husband, my workplace and my team I was able to accept and flourish on four days a week. My "Wednesday's off" were awesome. One friend said "you've just put another 10 years on your life". 

Sometimes you need to stop, smell those roses, sit still with that bird on your head and hum awhile.  That's pretty much what I'm doing this week. Give it a try!