No news is good news - are you ok with that?

We had a long weekend here in NZ, it was Waitangi Day - Google it up non-Kiwis - so Monday was a stat day. There's no Wifi at the beach so I've been unable to post for a few days. I came back to a few concerned texts asking "Are you ok? Haven't seen you post in awhile. Hope you're well".  I felt loved and missed and warm inside. Lovely to hear from my blog readers as I have no way of knowing who, if anyone, is reading my blog. It got me thinking about who has actually read it and how I feel about non-readers. Not wanting to dwell too much on the self-obsessed line of thought, I can't help being interested in the feedback I have had so far whether it's positive, negative or mwah? Silence or lack of acknowledgement of having read the blog is also intriguing me. I believe most readers have acknowledged within the first one or two blog posts that they have read it and enjoy it, love it, etc., and I have been overwhelmed by the support for my writing style (which is just me blathering on) which in turn keeps me going. My number one fan and rock is of course my yummy hubby J who keeps gently pushing me along to keep writing. 

I caught up with one avid blog reader at the weekend who I hadn't seen for a few months. We poured over the concept and process of it all, the why do it, the benefit of it and also the "does it matter if someone doesn't read it?". Sharing stories about ourselves that we'd never shared before, getting to know each other a little deeper, writing the blog with such honesty made it feel perfectly natural to talk so openly together. Making better connections with people was one of my New Years resolutions.  Writing the blog, stripping myself naked from the inside out, exposing my vulnerabilities has not only been a huge release for me but it seems is helping me to connect and develop my relationships  with the people around me on a much more honest level. 

Without being too dramatic, hell I'm allowed to be a Diva about whatever I like girlfriend, after what I've been through, beetches! Listen up. Life is too short, we say this, but do we really act on this? On a day to day basis are we really living life as though today could be the last day we are here and we could never see our mom, dad, sister, brother, son, daughter, cat, dog, husband, wife, aunty, uncle, nan, grandad, again? We bloody don't and you know it. We're reminded of our mortality when someone, anyone, dies. The age of the deceased, a bit too close to my age? A suicide, a bit too close to my son's age? Cancer, fingers crossed. Alzheimer's, please God no! A car crash, could be any of us at any time. These are things we choose not to think about on a day to day basis. Mostly we're too busy multitasking and haven't got time to navel gaze. But we don't have to think morbid thoughts on a day to day basis. No, we can turn it into a positive quite simply. Make the connection. Pick up the phone. Text. FB message. Pop round. Send a card. Do it daily. Do it every other day. Weekly. But don't leave it any longer cos you look like you don't give a shit about your mom, your dad, .... Here's an exercise worth doing, put yourself 5 years, then 10 years ahead of where you are now. How old will you be? How old will your children be? How old will your mom and dad be? Will your nan and grandad still be alive, based on age? What can you do now that you are unlikely to be able to do later? Then ask the same question of your family. Really walk in those future shoes and think about where your relationships are likely to be if things remain on the same level as they are now. That is, if  you don't change the way you connect with people around you from today. What will you miss out on if you don't connect daily, weekly? 

How many of us have phone accounts with unlimited free texts, free calls, too much data allowance? As well as bags of Wifi at home. Let's put them to good use. Me included (comment away please on how lazy I have been when it comes to texting). If we've learnt one thing from this surgical roller coaster it's that life is really too short, it can be taken away in a second, life without the people we love is something we will all have to face at some point for whatever reason. Some of us may already have felt this pain and live with those regrets. I don't know who first said this but the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Leaving too much time between virtual visits or physical visits translates as "I don't care enough about you to contact you".

Let's just try to be kind. 

(Oh right on time, I just felt an earthquake, GeoNet says it was a 5.7 at top of the South Island. All ok just thought Woody was tapping the chair). Well there's a reminder of our mortality right there.